Dear my younger self,

How are you, Wulan? Are you still juggling with your thesis?? Don’t be stress, I’m sure you can do it. Your thesis advisor, Mr.NJ, who’s also a prosecutor, is torturing you with many questions, isn’t he??? Well, since he’s a prosecutor and a smart man, he always does the same to his students. So, don’t worry, you are not the only victims.

Since you started writing your thesis, your sleeping habit change. You write your thesis from 9 pm to 4.30 am and you do it almost every day. Even you forget to do the thing that you like the most : sports!!! Why don’t you play indoor soccer or badminton ?? Waking up at night is not good for your health, dear, especially if you do it every day. You are completely crazy because of your thesis!!!

And do you know that 6 months after you finished writing thesis, you will suffer from allergic bronchitis? It will happen one week after you start working. You will feel like you can’t breath . You never feel like that before because you are always very healthy. Doctor will say that you suffer from “chronic fatigue”. And after that, you will realize that no matter how hard you feel in your life, you will never leave your hobby : sports. Three years after that you will realize how’s the role of sport to keep you sane and healthy even though you are on difficult situation.

Dear Wulan, I’m sure you watched Champions League final between AC Milan and Liverpool. You are sad because Milan lost in penalty shoot out but you realize that it’s just a game who was played in Istanbul. In football, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. And talking about Istanbul , have you ever thought that you will have interest in Turkish issues? You will start to be interested in Turkish issues since Gezi Park movement 8 years later. In addition, you will have a smart friend who likes to talk about politics. But beware, he is very sarcastic.

Speaking of yourself 10 years later, you will be fine. You will change a lot. You will not the one that you used to. You will feel free and healthier. You will still do the same things such as doing sports and watching football match. Other activities that you will do sometimes is taking picture of protest. Other people will avoid protest on the street, but you will be happy being surrounded by the protesters.

Ten years later will also fight to get scholarship to continue your master degree in England. Your life will full of fighting, dear because that’s life! And as a feminist, you will start to write and read about women’s football. You will understand that women in football suffer a great injustice. You will do some real action to “voice the unheard voices” because it’s you, yes you, who will always tremble indignation at every injustice.

Last but not least, congratulation on your thesis defense. That “killer prosecutor” didn’t torture you on your thesis defense, did he?

Much Love, Wulan